Recovering from a Spiritual Fall

Since about September I’ve been on a journey that I always seem to find myself on. Like I’ve taken the fork in the road back around to where I just was.

The best way I can describe a Spiritual Fall is when you let Ego, in one way or another, blind you from the direction you had set your intention to go. A lot of times you hear or read about people whose egos became inflated; they get full of themselves or ahead of themselves and find that life has put a pin right where they couldn’t see they needed it.

In my case, my ego has a tendency to deflate before it ever reaches its ideal capacity. Unfortunately for me, this latest deflation happened somewhere along my path to Priestesshood. The fall has been something like falling down a dark, sound proof shaft and every once in a while gurgled voices and static come through.

Recently I visited an old blog that I desperately wish I could somehow merge with this one. I was reminded of my first experiences on my Priestess walk and my invitation into Persephone’s chamber. I reached a level of awareness and appreciation that I didn’t know could be reached.

Recovering from my spiritual fall is proving to be difficult and awakening, as you might expect. Persephone is encouraging me with Her patience but still keeping me on my toes with Her silence.

Poseidon still appears to be contemplating where He would like to fit in in this particular scenario, as He was when it first began. I get the impression that the formality of Priestesshood isn’t something He had considered before Persephone entered O/our life. Though I imagine W/we will find unity in the end.

Currently I feel like I’m making my way back through the paces of my early studies in Paganism. I’m back to Tarot basics and reconnecting with my sacred tools and symbols. I’m thinking heavily on my beliefs and my views of the Gods.

The true challenge of this recovery isn’t so much getting back on track, but learning to stay there and continue moving forward.

Self Discovery Through Journaling

Journaling used to be something I did when I was down. I journaled regularly from around 7 or 8 years old all the way through life. Mostly it was text. Pages and pages (and pages…seriously I wrote a lot in one sitting) of emotional text. I would write and it would sit on the page and fester.

They say there’s no wrong way to journal but, for me, that was the wrong way. I spilled everything onto the page without processing my feelings.

When Hekate entered my life this year She set me on a journey to find the right way. First with bullet journaling. I learned to organize all the things in my head without being too restricting. Tasks, events (what few I may have), journaling, and the endless supply of random ideas I have. All in one place.

I became comfortable with the my junk drawer of a mind and fell into an easy step with my bullet journal. Hekate led me by the hand (tugging at me a little to keep up…because She’ll do that) to the point in my journey where I now rest comfortably: traveler’s notebooks.

The method is simple -small notebook “inserts” placed into a simple cover via elastic bands- and the system of bullet journaling can still be applied. I tackled the DIY lifestyle and made my own notebook cover and inserts (after much trial and error even still). My traveler’s notebook has become more than “the thing I journal in”. It’s a companion, a friend, and assistant. 

Like a horcrux, but without the murder and the evil. A piece of me lives in it.

I’m finding that this is increasingly more true as I move forward with this style of journaling. At this stop on the journey, Hekate has shown me that journaling does not need to be frantic words that I spill onto the page without thought. It can be a tool for discovering myself not only later, but as Im journaling. It can be artistic. Visual. Interactive.

Ah, yes. Art journaling is where I have found myself from following behind Hekate’s billowing cloak.

I have never considered myself an artistic person. I used to cringe at the sight of any doodle, sketch, or handcrafted artwork of mine, be it traditional or digital. Now I look at my journal pages with watercolors and collages and I’m inspired and grateful to have discovered this ability, this piece of myself that I had never met before.

I find myself needing fewer words to express my thoughts and emotions. I react to my thoughts as I place them on each page and record them in turn. I draw conclusions and find solutions without brewing over my frustrations for days on end.

And at this stop, Hekate has gotten off the journey. Perhaps only for the time being.

Poseidon never made me choose but I’ve come to understand that I did so anyway. I didn’t put Him in a position to have to ask me to choose. Now Hekate lurks around the edges, patient, perhaps, for me to call on Her again.

I feel the openness of the space that W/we had made for H/her and I know that now W/we have to fill it back in. My pace has faltered from losing this Friend. This Guide. This Wise Woman who showed me my own hands and let me see their beauty.

I feel no malice from Her, but I know that if and when the time comes that I return to Her, it better be bearing gifts and marks of progress.

In Honor of Poseidon

During my 30 Days of Devotion series I briefly mentioned shark finning, or finning, as an issue that Poseidon feels strongly about. I wanted to make sure that I came back and did a full post to bring more awareness to the subject.

Shark finning is the process by which fisheries illegally remove the fins of a captured shark before discarding the animal sea. In some cases the discarded animal is dead but, more often than not, it is still alive. 

These fins are dried and used in the coveted dish shark fin soup. This dish can go for as much as $100 per bowl in restaurants across the world and is commonly served at weddings and banquets.

At one time, sharks caught as by catch in the tuna and swordfish industries were removed from nets and released back into the ocean. Now, though, dried shark fins are the most expensive seafood by weight. This increase in value has urged fisheries to illegally continue this inhumane, wasteful, and unsustainable practice.

Sharks are notoriously difficult to study. Many species do not school and remain solitary, only gathering to breed, and produce few offspring. With no regulations and all sharks being targets, sharks in general are at extreme risk of over fishing.

Campaigns from various organizations are striving to put a ban on shark products, especially shark fin soup, until a time that regulations for sustainable shark fishing can be achieved. To do this, fisheries must be required to provide accurate data on sharks caught whether intentionally or as a bycatch. Additionally, a good understanding of target sharks’ biology is needed along with their accurate population numbers.

The most immediate way to help is, of course to donate to these campaigns. But our voices can sometimes be all the help needed. Here is an excellent resource on how to approach restaurants that serve shark fin soup. And this is a list of restaurants in the USA currently serving shark fin soup. This website for the Animal Welfare Institute provides contact information for all of the listed restaurants.

Below are links to various websites with more information on shark finning, how you can help, and their appropriate donation links. Please be advised that some of these website have graphic images of animal cruelty. Also let it be known that some of these websites are more current than others.
sharkstewards.org

sharksavers.org
wildaid.org/sharks
isfoundation.com
stopsharkfinning.net

Minotaur Moon

The 14th was a full moon, a Super Moon at that, and my did it’s magic have things in store for me.

I’m not yet ready to share the details on this blog, but I was graced with a long coming awakening that has rejuvenated me like nothing else has.

In my last post, I talked about the conflict between Poseidon and Hekate and I believe this was a direct result of my fears of choosing between Them. I was shown that despite the differences in how They choose to work with me, Their combines energies are awe strikingly powerful.

Hekate pulled back the shadows surrounding my secrets and painlessly dragged them from me and into the light. Poseidon washed away as much of the trauma from them as was due at this time. The impact on me has been not just spiritual, but physical as well.

In Reiki, we learn that a deep healing of past traumas can result in physical symptoms and I’m experiencing this firsthand for the first time.

I feel so blessed to have received the gift of this healing despite the wrongdoing I made to Poseidon. As atonement I’ve named the November full moon for Him with the name Minotaur Moon.

It’s a moon of breaking down walls and revealing the inner mysteries without hesitation.

I keep using the word “blessed” lately but I can’t describe in any other way. I feel so blessed that with each passing day I feel my relationships with the Gods growing. I’m truly experiencing the results of my piety.

A Clash of Wills

I’ve spent most of the last year working on cleansing my chakra system, beginning with the commonly known 7 chakras. I was quite disappointed to realize that my root chakra was far more damaged than I had previously thought (and I was expecting some serious damage, mind you).

Poseidon and Persephone guided me along the way, teaching me lessons of patience, self love, and trust in myself. With Hekate now added to the fray, I took the time to turn to her through a tarot reading and my if that didn’t stir up some conflict.

guilded tarot and dragonfae oracle

The reading itself was very straightforward. It wasn’t until I got to the Oracle cards at the end that there was a problem. I drew one for each of the Gods in my Family, Poseidon, Persephone  and Hekate.

Persephone was level headed and to the point ands usual, but Poseidon and Hekate had messages that seemed almost agressive. Nothing like the interaction I have with Them One on one.

Not only did Hekate demand of me something that We both know I’m not ready to do, She demanded that I dive into it immediately and at full strength.

Poseidon rarely has the need to assert Himself in my life. He is my Always. And he rarely has to take in the role of Protecter. But He did both of these things with a single card draw. 

After some thought and reflection I thought it best to go to Poseidon through meditation and request clarity from Him. As I expected, He felt pushed aside when I turned to Hekate specifically for the overall reading. He felt like the Oracle cards I drew for Him and Persephone were afterthoughts. That’s a wrong that I cannot hold on to and I will have to work to write it.

More than that, He feels that Hekate is overstepping Her bounds and over staying Her welcome as a Figure in my life.

He hasn’t spoken, yet, as to whether He will make me choose between Them or not and this is a first for me in general. Poseidon and Persephone have worked well and closely over the years. Hekate is new in my life, as I’ve said, and has been a wealth of guidance and wisdom throughout recent issues.

I don’t usually like to break the wall and ask anyone reading questions, but I’d love to hear from and any other polytheist out there if you’ve had a similar incident with Deities clashing.

Musings: Poseidon

I thibk, upon first introduction, Poseidon could be viewed as a God of indecisiveness. He is not entirely one way or another. The sea can be both terrible and calm, horses wild and tame.

This may be why He is so under-worshipped. Most people, in modern times, are one way or another. Or perhaps clear on what they are striving to be.
I see Poseidon as a God for those seeking guidance in coming to terms with their inherent duality. 

This post is brought to you by insomnia and severe disappointment with the election results. No surprise that my Lord and Tamera of Tumultuous Seas is on my mind tonight.

30 Days of Devotion: Days 29 and 30

My final post of this challenge is here. Between  getting discouraged with my posts due to our crazy construction schedule and having issues with my keyboard when my WordPress app is open, I’m a little amazed that I completed this. But here it is, at long last, the final two days.

Day 29: interesting or unusual UPG

Probably the most interesting bit that I’m willing to share is that it’s been odd and amusing working with both Poseidon and Hekate. Without going into too much detail, They have very opposite personalities and it’s comical when They try to make partnering suggestions on any topics that I bring to Them.

Day 30: suggestions for those beginning to learn about this Deity

Ah, the final question. If I’ve been able to make even one more person more interested in learning about Poseidon I’ll feel pleased with the turnout of this month long endeavor.

For anyone that may feel so inclined  I would suggest starting with theoi.com. They have an excellent resource on Deity information including myths, hymns, epithets, family trees and a lot more to get you up and running.

From there I would suggest meditating near water if you can. If you can’t, get a fish tank and meditate near that.

If you aren’t fully committed to beginning a relationship right now, get a bowl and a fish that you like (not just any fish), set it up, and meditate near that.
If a real commitment is something you’re seeking and you need easy access to a body of water that contains life, consider putting a few bucks into something nicer. A few gallons fish tank and plants or decorations that you find pleasing are a good place to start. Ifor you get live plants for your tank, even better. I’ve always enjoyed water gardens.

I’m so proud of myself for accomplishing this. There were a few days when I felt like putting his off altogether and trying again no there month, but I’m so pleased to have stuck with it. I hopened it’s been pleasant for any readers and I’ll try to do another one for wither Persephone or Hekate in a month or two.