Recovering from a Spiritual Fall

Since about September I’ve been on a journey that I always seem to find myself on. Like I’ve taken the fork in the road back around to where I just was.

The best way I can describe a Spiritual Fall is when you let Ego, in one way or another, blind you from the direction you had set your intention to go. A lot of times you hear or read about people whose egos became inflated; they get full of themselves or ahead of themselves and find that life has put a pin right where they couldn’t see they needed it.

In my case, my ego has a tendency to deflate before it ever reaches its ideal capacity. Unfortunately for me, this latest deflation happened somewhere along my path to Priestesshood. The fall has been something like falling down a dark, sound proof shaft and every once in a while gurgled voices and static come through.

Recently I visited an old blog that I desperately wish I could somehow merge with this one. I was reminded of my first experiences on my Priestess walk and my invitation into Persephone’s chamber. I reached a level of awareness and appreciation that I didn’t know could be reached.

Recovering from my spiritual fall is proving to be difficult and awakening, as you might expect. Persephone is encouraging me with Her patience but still keeping me on my toes with Her silence.

Poseidon still appears to be contemplating where He would like to fit in in this particular scenario, as He was when it first began. I get the impression that the formality of Priestesshood isn’t something He had considered before Persephone entered O/our life. Though I imagine W/we will find unity in the end.

Currently I feel like I’m making my way back through the paces of my early studies in Paganism. I’m back to Tarot basics and reconnecting with my sacred tools and symbols. I’m thinking heavily on my beliefs and my views of the Gods.

The true challenge of this recovery isn’t so much getting back on track, but learning to stay there and continue moving forward.


Dreamless Nights

It’s been a couple of months since the last time I remembered a dream. Before that, it was even longer. I wish it had been a profound and revealing dream that I could have woken from to say “aha!” or “that’s the answer!”.

Instead it was an off dream about reuniting with the last person I was in a relationship with. There was a recollection of days gone by and, I think, a mutual understanding that it was the best thing for us both at the time. 

Generally, the dream had that fuzzy feeling to it, like when you’ve slept just the tiniest but longer than you should have but you don’t exactly mind.

I’m hoping this will become a regular thing again (remembering dreams in general, not particularly about exes). I feel as though a piece is missing or that I’m not rested when I wake and haven’t gotten enough sleep.

It draws my mind back to Persephone and her dealings with the Lotus Eaters. And to Poseidon who has always helped sway me to sleep during times of continued sleeplessness.

Spring is around the corner and the great awakening of life will take place. As Persephone makes her return to light I hope she’ll bring with her a flower for me. One drenched mostly in red to bring me back my dreams.

15 Years

I’ve been doing some reflecting on where my path began lately and realized that this year marks 15 years since I began a journey of self discovery through Paganism. I’ve written before, I think, about how my path began when I read The Odyssey for the first time in my junior high school library. It was a crackly, blue, hardcover book that the librarian told me hadn’t been checked out since she had been working there.

I checked it out several more times that school year and sought it out the next year to find that it had been swept away with the other unpopular books. I moved on to reading everything I could find about the ancient Gods and was overjoyed whenever my Ancient History class touched on the subject.

I didn’t know then that I’d been on this path now. I didn’t even know the term Pagan or that it was an available path to follow.

All I knew was that the God of The Bible was not the only to receive love and honor. I had tried to give Him my love and I had tried to receive His, but I never felt Him. There was never a connection.

I searched endlessly for that connection until I was 18, spending my days and evenings wandering the shelves in the local Borders bookstore day after day reading (but not buying…) their books on Greek Mythology, when I discovered the metaphysical section and learned that people worshiped, loved, and honored these Gods and others like Them.

I took a chance and began talking to Them like I had tried to talk to the God of The Bible. I spoke, I wrote, I thought, and I began meditating for the first time. And I waited.

At the time I was an avid writer and was working tirelessly on a comic book script. My time spent searching for the presence of these new-old Gods was focused on finding Apollo. So when the first signs came to me I knew it must be Him. I grasped firmly to that idea for a year, wondering why I didn’t feel fulfilled in that aspect of my spirituality.

Then He came to me. Bold and strong. Dark and awe inspiring. My loosely Christian upbringing led me to interpret His signs as those of Hades. Dark, smoldering, with a “pitchfork” of sorts in His hand. His patience was endless as I tried convincing myself of who He was, but He wasn’t.

While Hades lent me His council on many things during this time as I gave Him praise Poseidon sat closely by my side, whispering truths. And when I finally welcomed Him in my heart, He left a place for Hades that would be filled by His Lady Persephone in the next couple of years.

Throughout that time I sought council and learned lessons from the Gods – some Greek, some Egyptian, some Norse. There are still whispers from some, God or otherwise I’m not sure, that I haven’t yet clarified. I’ve met guides and spirits in passing and welcomed my One, Sunrise, into my life.

My depression still sometimes interferes with my ability to connect to the Gods and to nature (and to myself and the people around me, for that matter), but along with my daughter, the Gods help me to work through it and continue on this path.

The Lotus Eater

I read the story of the Lotus Eaters many times when I was in junior high and high school. It’s been almost 2 decades since I first read it and I’ve found myself drawn to it again.

I’ve been living with insomnia for a couple of years now. It’s not unusual for me to be awake at 3am, occupying my mind with something or other until sleep finds me. Tonight I watched over my sleeping girl who sometimes fussed in her sleep. I’m not entirely sure why but I felt the need to focus on protection and white light.

It occurred to me, when I called on Reiki to aid me, that the lotus flower grows from the mud. My connection with Persephone focuses quite a bit on this substance of earth and water so, of course, my mind flew away and began researching connections.

Silly me for not realizing that a quick connection would be made.

In Greek mythology, Persephone created the lotus flower of Her own hands for Morpheus. Purple and black petals for the death like sleep and one streaked with red for our dreams.

I’ve stored that symbolism away for when I can focus on tackling my sleep issues. For now, I’m turning to the symbolism for pink and white flowers as they symbolize devotion.

I’ve searched for some time for a symbol for my Goddess and I’m pleased to have found one suitable enough in its beauty and it’s purity for my Palest Flower.

In Honor of Poseidon

During my 30 Days of Devotion series I briefly mentioned shark finning, or finning, as an issue that Poseidon feels strongly about. I wanted to make sure that I came back and did a full post to bring more awareness to the subject.

Shark finning is the process by which fisheries illegally remove the fins of a captured shark before discarding the animal sea. In some cases the discarded animal is dead but, more often than not, it is still alive. 

These fins are dried and used in the coveted dish shark fin soup. This dish can go for as much as $100 per bowl in restaurants across the world and is commonly served at weddings and banquets.

At one time, sharks caught as by catch in the tuna and swordfish industries were removed from nets and released back into the ocean. Now, though, dried shark fins are the most expensive seafood by weight. This increase in value has urged fisheries to illegally continue this inhumane, wasteful, and unsustainable practice.

Sharks are notoriously difficult to study. Many species do not school and remain solitary, only gathering to breed, and produce few offspring. With no regulations and all sharks being targets, sharks in general are at extreme risk of over fishing.

Campaigns from various organizations are striving to put a ban on shark products, especially shark fin soup, until a time that regulations for sustainable shark fishing can be achieved. To do this, fisheries must be required to provide accurate data on sharks caught whether intentionally or as a bycatch. Additionally, a good understanding of target sharks’ biology is needed along with their accurate population numbers.

The most immediate way to help is, of course to donate to these campaigns. But our voices can sometimes be all the help needed. Here is an excellent resource on how to approach restaurants that serve shark fin soup. And this is a list of restaurants in the USA currently serving shark fin soup. This website for the Animal Welfare Institute provides contact information for all of the listed restaurants.

Below are links to various websites with more information on shark finning, how you can help, and their appropriate donation links. Please be advised that some of these website have graphic images of animal cruelty. Also let it be known that some of these websites are more current than others.

Musings: Poseidon

I thibk, upon first introduction, Poseidon could be viewed as a God of indecisiveness. He is not entirely one way or another. The sea can be both terrible and calm, horses wild and tame.

This may be why He is so under-worshipped. Most people, in modern times, are one way or another. Or perhaps clear on what they are striving to be.
I see Poseidon as a God for those seeking guidance in coming to terms with their inherent duality. 

This post is brought to you by insomnia and severe disappointment with the election results. No surprise that my Lord and Tamera of Tumultuous Seas is on my mind tonight.

30 Days of Devotion: Days 29 and 30

My final post of this challenge is here. Between  getting discouraged with my posts due to our crazy construction schedule and having issues with my keyboard when my WordPress app is open, I’m a little amazed that I completed this. But here it is, at long last, the final two days.

Day 29: interesting or unusual UPG

Probably the most interesting bit that I’m willing to share is that it’s been odd and amusing working with both Poseidon and Hekate. Without going into too much detail, They have very opposite personalities and it’s comical when They try to make partnering suggestions on any topics that I bring to Them.

Day 30: suggestions for those beginning to learn about this Deity

Ah, the final question. If I’ve been able to make even one more person more interested in learning about Poseidon I’ll feel pleased with the turnout of this month long endeavor.

For anyone that may feel so inclined  I would suggest starting with They have an excellent resource on Deity information including myths, hymns, epithets, family trees and a lot more to get you up and running.

From there I would suggest meditating near water if you can. If you can’t, get a fish tank and meditate near that.

If you aren’t fully committed to beginning a relationship right now, get a bowl and a fish that you like (not just any fish), set it up, and meditate near that.
If a real commitment is something you’re seeking and you need easy access to a body of water that contains life, consider putting a few bucks into something nicer. A few gallons fish tank and plants or decorations that you find pleasing are a good place to start. Ifor you get live plants for your tank, even better. I’ve always enjoyed water gardens.

I’m so proud of myself for accomplishing this. There were a few days when I felt like putting his off altogether and trying again no there month, but I’m so pleased to have stuck with it. I hopened it’s been pleasant for any readers and I’ll try to do another one for wither Persephone or Hekate in a month or two.