Recovering from a Spiritual Fall

Since about September I’ve been on a journey that I always seem to find myself on. Like I’ve taken the fork in the road back around to where I just was.

The best way I can describe a Spiritual Fall is when you let Ego, in one way or another, blind you from the direction you had set your intention to go. A lot of times you hear or read about people whose egos became inflated; they get full of themselves or ahead of themselves and find that life has put a pin right where they couldn’t see they needed it.

In my case, my ego has a tendency to deflate before it ever reaches its ideal capacity. Unfortunately for me, this latest deflation happened somewhere along my path to Priestesshood. The fall has been something like falling down a dark, sound proof shaft and every once in a while gurgled voices and static come through.

Recently I visited an old blog that I desperately wish I could somehow merge with this one. I was reminded of my first experiences on my Priestess walk and my invitation into Persephone’s chamber. I reached a level of awareness and appreciation that I didn’t know could be reached.

Recovering from my spiritual fall is proving to be difficult and awakening, as you might expect. Persephone is encouraging me with Her patience but still keeping me on my toes with Her silence.

Poseidon still appears to be contemplating where He would like to fit in in this particular scenario, as He was when it first began. I get the impression that the formality of Priestesshood isn’t something He had considered before Persephone entered O/our life. Though I imagine W/we will find unity in the end.

Currently I feel like I’m making my way back through the paces of my early studies in Paganism. I’m back to Tarot basics and reconnecting with my sacred tools and symbols. I’m thinking heavily on my beliefs and my views of the Gods.

The true challenge of this recovery isn’t so much getting back on track, but learning to stay there and continue moving forward.

Chakra Divination

An Instagram user by the name of @shufflingfate has created a journal prompt challenge to inspire others to seek guidance in balancing their chakras through divination (#chakradivchallenge). I saw this as a long sought opportunity to let go of fear and doubt and return to the Tarot.

The first prompt in the series is titled “Find balance by…” and, to complete the statement, I have interpreted my reading to suggest that I can find balance by reclaiming my true Self from the space Within where I have hidden it as protection from my toxic environment.

As a Pagan in a close minded, superstitious, and mostly-traditionalist black family with Abrahamic beliefs, I’ve spent almost a decade keeping the two worlds separate. Naturally that meant that when I moved back in with my family 2 years ago while pregnant with my daughter, I had to put aside the religious and spiritual relationships I had built with myself and the Gods.

Separating yourself from your Self makes it impossible (generally) to find balance. How can a scale be balanced if an entire side is missing?

The Star – healing, hope, intuition

5 of Wands – arguments, petty conflict (given the nature of the reading and the surrounding cards, my first interpretation was conflict between “egos”)

7 of Swords – deception, theft, recovery of something lost or taken

Tiamet – Tiamet, the primordial Mesopotamian Goddess of the Ocean; “you are stronger than you think”; crossroads


Decks Used

The Gilded Tarot (aka The Easy Tarot); art by Ciro Marchetti

Oracle of the Dragongae; Lucy Cavendish